Myself, I feel very safe.
You know what you’re getting into when you dive into a Wes Anderson film. There’s his quirky style (usually varying degrees of Pastels) that feels very vintage, but also modern. You’re going to get a camera on a tripod that will swivel just so onto actors as they deliver witty, clever monologues. And it’s pretty much guaranteed that there will be so many good actors that the screen is practically torn to tatters by said good actors chewing up their small scenes.
The Phoenician Scheme is no exception, I’m happy to say. It’s perhaps the most “Wes Anderson” film to date–dialed in so much that you feel like the man is just directing blindfolded at this point. The dialogue and characters are ambitious (Michael Cera’s accent as Bjorn was…a choice, but what’s more surprising is it took him this long to be in one of Wes’ films!) and honestly, if Bencio Del Toro wasn’t the lead in the film, I don’t think I would have liked it as much. I saw the film just over a week ago, and I’m not certain that I could tell you, end to end, the actual story.
Oh, there’s the plot summary, sure–
Zsa-zsa Korda (Del Toro) is an arms dealer/industrialist with a vast fortune/empire, and is threatened by other tycoons / foreign terrorists who want him dead. He decides to leave his vast empire to his only daughter, a nun (played by Kate Winslet’s daughter, Mia Threapleton), but before he does that, he has to pull off his biggest scheme to date–30 years in the making.
But I fear I must tell you that the story is just really an excuse to have loads of cameos, lots of shouting by Del Toro, and for Wes Anderson to flex being Wes Anderson. The result is a rather short film by today’s standards (1 hour and 41 minutes) in which not a lot seemingly happens, but it is more of a character study. Zsa-zsa really isn’t even that likable as a character, and you get the sense that if given the opportunity, he would sell his daughter for the scheme to succeed.
This is also Wes Anderson (and Roman Coppola, his frequent collaborator) at their most powerful: they can write outlandish things and get the hell away with it. There’s a running gag of Zsa-zsa handing out hand grenades as gifts, which is just kind of funny if you think about it. What do terrorists get each other for gifts? Weapons, of course. Zsa-zsa also is frequently in plane crashes because of assassins trying to blow up the plane. You would think he would just stop taking planes, but…there you have it.
What is the scheme, by the way? I guess…taking over the country of Phoenicia? This is threatened by governments around the world driving up materials cost, so he has to go and visit each of his investors to try to cover the ever-increasing gap. Eventually, he meets the last investor, Uncle Nubar, played by Benedict Cumberbatch in the most ridiculous makeup I have ever seen, and it is revealed that he was behind the assassins the whole time.
All of that to say is that the story was perhaps the weakest part of the whole thing. You might even say…sloppy. But I guess I can forgive it…because…
Let’s just focus on the cast, for a second.
Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threapleton (her accent was fantastic), Michael Cera (his accent was not fantastic, on purpose, and I HATE HIS MOUSTACHE), Riz Ahmed (great in everything), Tom Hanks (of course), Bryan Cranston, Mathieu Amalric, Richard Ayoade (love, love, love this man), Jeffery Wright (love, love, love this man too), Scarlett Johannson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ruper Friend, and Hope Davis.
That’s just the main cast.
Willem Dafoe makes a fucking cameo, and so does Bill Murray as God.
The movie is, without a doubt, stuffed with such great acting talent that it’s almost a shame they are barely there. For instance, Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston are in it for maybe 3 minutes. I get it, and it’s clear they are there because they love working with Wes. The cast though, is what makes this movie a joy to watch–it’s a dark comedy and they are clearly having so much fun making it, it oozes off the screen.
At this stage in his game, Wes Anderson films are a known quantity. I will say that you either love or hate his films, and it’s obvious that his style and sensibilities are what make him unique. He was once quoted as saying that “I don’t think that I have an aesthetic,” which is patently untrue at this stage; even SNL was able to make a parody in his style for a Horror Movie. This is not a bad thing. Some directors try to do a different style each film, and it’s clear there is no true voice in those films. I think it would be neat if he tried something wholly original, breaking out of his mold, but I’d also be perfectly okay for him to keep cranking out something like this…as long as he takes his time to do it. There is chatter that the man is working too fast and producing these films at a ridiculous pace. I don’t know about all of that, but I do look forward to the next Wes Anderson film, so take that as you will.
Now, that being said, I still stand by The Grand Budapest Hotel as the greatest Wes Anderson film, followed by Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Darjeeling Limited, and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. So, where does this one rank? I will tell you that The French Dispatch was one of my least favorites–and one I didn’t even finish watching. Asteroid City was just okay for me (Jim is quaking in his boots reading this). Well–here it is:
- The Grand Budapest Hotel
- Fantastic Mr. Fox
- The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
- The Darjeeling Limited
- The Royal Tenebaums
- Isle of Dogs
- The Phoenician Scheme
- Asteroid City
- Moonrise Kingdom
- The French Dispatch of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun
There, I’ve done it, I feel good about it.
Don’t buy great art, buy masterpieces.
